Humor

Posted May 27, 2010 by blairteach
Categories: Quotes by Category

Many of the humor quotes are uncredited and from unknown sources.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

You can’t tell which way the train went by looking at the track.

Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.

There is no substitute for genuine lack of preparation.

Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

Sometimes too much drink is not enough.

The facts, although interesting, are generally irrelevant.

Things are more like they are today than they have ever been before.

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.

Friends may come and go but enemies accumulate.

HAPPINESS is merely the remission of pain.

I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.

One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that LIFE is serious.

This is as bad as it can get…but don’t bet on it.

Never wrestle with a pig: you both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.

There is always ONE MORE difficult person than you counted on.

The trouble with life is, you’re halfway through it before you realize it’s a “do it yourself” thing.

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with EXPERIENCE.

In any given set of circumstances, the proper course of action is determined by subsequent events.

If a job is NOT worth doing, it is not worth doing right.

Urgency varies inversely with importance.

No real problem has a solution.

When there is no solution, there is no problem.

Asking dumb questions is much easier than correcting dumb mistakes.

We get so involved with the URGENT around here, we never have time for the IMPORTANT.

TALK is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.” Granville Hicks

The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time. Joe Girard

If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

The secret of SUCCESS is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

It is AMAZING how long it takes to complete something you are NOT working on.

If you think that there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.

Teamwork…means never having to take all the blame yourself.

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

We waste time, so you don’t have to.

Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.

If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos…then you probably haven’t completely understood the seriousness of the situation.

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

Half the people you know are below average.

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.  Charles M. Schulz

The trouble with normal is that it always gets worse.   Bruce Cockburn (via Twitter commprofbob)

Young people make up 26% of U.S. but 100% of the future.  @debraprice81 (Twitter)

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Writing

Posted May 27, 2010 by blairteach
Categories: Quotes by Category

The task of a writer consists in being able to make something out of an IDEA. Thomas Mann

It is better to write a BAD first draft than to write no first draft at all.  Will Shetterly

WRITING is only boring to the people who are boring themselves. Unknown

The PEN is the tongue of the mind. Miguel de Cervantes

WRITING is the best way to talk without being interrupted. Jules Renard

DETAIL makes the difference between boring and terrific writing. It’s the difference between a pencil sketch and a lush oil painting. As a writer, words are your paint. Use all the colors. Rhys Alexander

If you don’t have the time to READ, you don’t have the time or the tools to WRITE. Stephen King

WRITING comes more easily if you have something to say.  Sholem Asch

Do, or do not. There is no try.  Yoda

It is perfectly okay to write garbage — as long as you edit brilliantly. C.J. Cherryh

READING usually precedes writing and the impulse to write is almost always fired by reading. Reading, the love of reading, is what makes you dream of becoming a W R I T E R.  Susan Sontag

WRITING is thinking on paper.  William Zinsser

There are no dull subjects. There are only dull writers.  H.L. Mencken

The two most engaging powers of an author are, to make new things familiar, and familiar things new.  Samuel Johnson

Writing is 1 percent inspiration, and 99 percent elimination.  Louise Brooks

TACT is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.  Abraham Lincoln

In good writing, WORDS become one with things.  Ralph Waldo Emerson

STYLE is not how you write. It is how you do not write like anyone else.  Charles Ghigna aka Father Goose

There is no great writing, only great rewriting. Justice Brandeis

The WASTEPAPER BASKET is the writer’s best friendIsaac Bashevis Singer

If you wait for inspiration, you’re not a writer, but a waiter.  Anonymous

WRITING is never finished, only abandoned.   Paul Valery

WRITING is how we think our way into a subject and make it our own. William Zinsser

DO SOMETHING – If it works, do more of it. If it doesn’t, do something else. Franklin D. Roosevelt

Editing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.   Mark Twain

Reading

Posted May 27, 2010 by blairteach
Categories: Quotes by Category

BOOKS to the reading child, are so much more than books – they are dreams and knowledge, they are a future, and a past.   Esther Meynell

A book is like a GARDEN carried in the pocket.  Chinese proverb

If you don’t have the time to READ, you don’t have the time or the tools to WRITE. Stephen King

READING is a basic tool in the living of a good life.   Mortimer J. Adler

A LIBRARY is a HOSPITAL for the mind. Anonymous

READING is to the mind what exercise is to the body. Joseph Addison

A BOOK is a garden, an orchard, a storeroom, a party, a company, by the way, a counselor, a multitude of counselors.   Henry Ward Beecher

The man who DOESN’T read good books has no advantage over the man who CAN’T read them.                 Mark Twain

A wonderful thing about a book, in contrast to a computer screen, is that you can take it to bed with you.   Daniel J. Boorstin

Read, read, read. William Faulkner

To read without reflecting is like eating without digesting.   Edmund Burke

Children are made readers on the laps of their parents. Emilie Buchwald

The OLDEST BOOKS are still only just out to those who have not read them.  Samuel Butler

BEWARE of the man of one book. Anonymous

You don’t have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them. Ray Bradbury

The greatest gift is a PASSION for reading. Elizabeth Hardwick

READING is a discount ticket to everywhere.   Mary Schmich

BOOKS The internet for people who can pay attention. From Pieces of Flair

The flood of print has turned reading into a process of gulping rather than savoring. Warren Chappel

Outside a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside a dog, it’s too dark to read.   Groucho Marx

I divide all readers into two classes: Those who read to remember and those who read to forget.   William Phelps

BOOKS had instant replay long before televised sports. Bert Williams

A LIBRARY should be like a pair of open arms.    Roger Rosenblatt

Today a reader, tomorrow a leader. W. Fusselman

BOOKS – the children of the brain.   Jonathan Swift

What is reading, but silent conversation.   Walter Savage Landor

If you can read this, THANK a teacher.   Anonymous Teacher

FICTION reveals truth that REALITY obscures.  Jessamyn West

It is with books as with men -a very small number play a great part, the rest are lost in the multitude. Voltaire

A GOOD BOOK is the best of friends, the same today and forever.   Martin Farquhar Tupper

Only a generation of readers will span a generation of writers. Steven Spielberg

The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.   Dr. Seuss

A library is THOUGHT in cold storage. Herbert Samuel

Any book that helps a child to form a habit of reading, to make reading one of his deep and continuing needs, is good for him.   Richard McKenna

I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and . . . read a BOOK.   Groucho Marx

READING gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are. Mason Cooley

One good book deserves another.

Science/Math

Posted May 27, 2010 by blairteach
Categories: Quotes by Category

Science is ORGANIZED KNOWLEDGE.  Herbert Spencer

MATHEMATICS is the gate and key to the sciences.  Roger Bacon

SCIENCE . . . an imaginative adventure of the mind seeking truth in a world of mystery. Sir Cyril Herman Hinshelwood

THEORY guides. EXPERIMENT decides.  Anonymous

MATHEMATICS is not a careful march down a well-cleared highway, but a journey into a strange wilderness, where the explorers often get lost. W. S. Anglin

RESEARCH is to see what everybody else has seen, and to think what nobody else has thought. Albert Szent-Györgi

IN SCIENCE the credit goes to the man who convinces the world, not to the man to whom the idea first occurred. Sir William Osler

The arithmetic of life does not always have a logical answer. Inshirah Abdur-Rauf

MATHEMATICS should be fun. Peter J. Hilton

Where there is matter, there is GEOMETRY.   Johannes Kepler

A SET is a MANY that allows itself to be thought of as a ONE.  Georg Cantor

Children need to do what “real” mathematicians do – explore and invent for the rest of their lives. Susan Ohanian

MATHEMATICS is no more computation than typing is literature. John Allen Paulos

MATHEMATICIAN is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat
which isn’t there.  Charles Darwin

The best angle from which to approach any problem is the try-angle.  Unknown

Reading and writing, arithmetic and grammar do not constitute education, any more than a knife, fork and spoon constitute a dinner. John Lubbock

If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut. Albert Einstein

MATH – It adds up to your future. Micron Webpage

COMPUTERS can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don’t add up.  James Magary

Life Philosophy/Beliefs

Posted May 27, 2010 by blairteach
Categories: Quotes by Category

If you think education is expensive – try IGNORANCE. Derek Bok

Never mistake ACTIVITY for ACHIEVEMENT.  John Wooden

There are three classes of people. Those who see; those who see when they are shown; and those who do not see. Leonardo daVinci

It is what we know already that often prevents us from LEARNING.  Claude Bernard

A DESK is a dangerous place from which to watch the world. John le Carré

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects. Will Rogers

An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest. Benjamin Franklin

THE BEST WAY to give advice is to set a good example.  Ancient Proverb

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. Steven Wright

Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the RESPONSE to error that counts.  Nikki Giovanni

Most people spend more time and energy going around problems than in trying to solve them. Henry Ford

If we succeed in giving the love of learning, the learning itself is sure to follow.  Sir John Lubbock

Do not confine your children to your own learning for they were born in another time.  Hebrew Proverb

The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.  Anonymous

DON’T SPEAK unless you can improve on the silence.  Spanish Proverb

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their   echoes are endless.  Mother Theresa

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.  From happy thoughts by Toby Reynolds

TACT is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.  Abraham Lincoln, American president and lawyer

TIMES ARE BAD. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book.  Marcus Cicero, Roman orator and writer

A CONCLUSION is the place where you got tired of thinking.  Steven Wright

I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it’s only a choice of ATTITUDE. Judith M. Knowlton

What’s POPULAR isn’t always right, and what’s RIGHT isn’t always popular. Byrd Baggett

We are what we repeatedly do.  Aristotle

GREAT MINDS discuss ideas. AVERAGE MINDS discuss events. SMALL MINDS discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

Three things in life that, once gone, never come back: TIME, WORDS, OPPORTUNITY. Unknown

WINNING starts with BEGINNING.   Robert H. Schuller

Whatever you are, be a good one.  Abraham Lincoln

Don’t CRY because it’s over. SMILE because it happened.   Dr. Seuss

You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.   Tom Wilson

Sometime, in the not-too-distant future, these will probably be known as “the good old days.”   Eric Harvey and Steve Ventura

It takes two to quarrel, but only ONE to end it.   Spanish Proverb

KNOWLEDGE is the currency of our current economy.   Dave Ramsey

I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. And because I cannot do everything I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.   Edward Everett Hale

A PESSIMIST sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an OPTIMIST sees the opportunity in every difficulty.  Sir Winston Churchill

Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape. Anonymous

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.  Sir Winston Churchill

SUCCESS isn’t permanent, and FAILURE isn’t FATAL.   Mike Ditka

The most valuable gift you can give someone is your attention. Thich Nhat Hanh

How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live. Henry David Thoreau

CHILDREN learn how to make good decisions by making decisions, not by following directions. Alfie Kohn

Teaching

Posted May 27, 2010 by blairteach
Categories: Quotes by Category

If you think education is expensive – try IGNORANCE. Derek Bok

I forgot what I was TAUGHT. I only remember what I have LEARNED.  Patrick White

Never mistake ACTIVITY for ACHIEVEMENT.  John Wooden

We are all teachers and we are all students. We all have something to give and we all have something to learn. Diane M. Giuliano

A good teacher, like a good entertainer, first must hold his audience’s attention. Then he can teach   his lesson. John Hendrik Clarke

You cannot TEACH a man anything; you can only help him find it within himself. Galileo Galilei

A DESK is a dangerous place from which to watch the world. John le Carré

What a teacher doesn’t say . . . is a telling part of what a student hears.  Maurice Natanson

GOOD TEACHING is more a giving of right questions than a giving of right answers.  Josef Albers

An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest. Benjamin Franklin

Everyone who remembers his own educational experience remembers TEACHERS, not methods and techniques. Sidney Hook

If we succeed in giving the love of learning, the learning itself is sure to follow.  Sir John Lubbock

Do not confine your children to your own learning for they were born in another time.  Hebrew Proverb

ONE good teacher in a lifetime may sometimes change a delinquent into solid citizen.  Philip Wylie

EDUCATION is equipping our children to walk through doors of opportunity. L. B. Johnson

A GOOD TEACHER is one who helps you become who you feel yourself to be. A good teacher is also one who says something you won’t understand until ten years later. Julius Lester

A teacher is a compass that activates the magnets of curiosity, knowledge, and wisdom in the pupils.  Ever Garrison

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are endless.  Mother Theresa

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.  From happy thoughts by Toby Reynolds

WE KNOW our students will talk about us; WHAT they say is up to us. Anonymous

Teaching is not a way to make a living; it is a way of living. Anonymous

A college degree and a teaching certificate define a person as a teacher, but it takes hard work and dedication to be one.  Paul McClure

The dream begins, most of the time, with a teacher who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you on to the next plateau, sometimes poking you with a sharp stick called truth. Dan Rather

TEACHERS open the door. You enter by yourself.  Chinese Proverb

If you have KNOWLEDGE, let others light their candles at it.  Margaret Fuller

If we don’t model what we teach, we are teaching something else.  Anonymous

If your ACTIONS inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, YOU ARE A LEADER TEACHER. John Quincy Adams

In times of change, it is the learners that will inherit the earth while the learned will find themselves beautifully equipped for a world that no longer exists.  Eric Hoffer

Those who think you can’t have fun while getting an education, probably don’t know much about either.    Randy Pausch

All too often we are giving young people cut flowers when we should be teaching them to grow their own plants. John W. Gardner

“He was so learned that he could name a horse in nine languages so ignorant that he bought a cow to ride on.” Benjamin Franklin

Give the pupils something to do, not something to learn; and the doing is of such a nature as to demand thinking; learning naturally results.  John Dewey

The aim of education should be teaching us HOW to think, rather than WHAT to think. James Beatti

If you have KNOWLEDGE, let others light their candles at it. Margaret Fuller

A good teacher takes you somewhere else. An excellent teacher changes where you are. K.Tanahashi

Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression.  Dr. Haim Ginott

Using Data

Posted May 27, 2010 by blairteach
Categories: Quotes by Category

If you know why, you can figure out how.  W. Edwards Deming

Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning.  Benjamin Franklin

It is hard to begin to move when you don’t know where you are moving, how to move, or if you are going to get there.  Peter Nivio Zarlenga

Do, or do not. There is no try. Yoda

Happy is he who gets to know the reasons for things.  Virgil

We need to spend more time, energy, and attention on asking the questions: WHY we are assessing students—rather than HOWNational Leadership Network

RESEARCH is to see what everybody else has seen, and to think what nobody else has thought. Albert Szent-Györgi

All great achievements require time.  David J. Schwartz

The ability to simplify means the ability to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary can speak.  Hans Hoffman

You cannot TEACH a man anything; you can only help him find it within himself. Galileo Galilei

There are three classes of people. Those who see; those who see when they are shown; and
those who do not see.  Leonardo daVinci

It is what we know already that often prevents us from LEARNINGClaude Bernard

Not to understand another person’s way of thinking does not make that person confused.  Michael Quinn Patten

A GOOD GRAPH deserves a thousand words.  Unknown

If you don’t know where you are going, ANYTHING you do will get you there.  Anonynous

DISAGGREGATION is not a problem-solving strategy. It is a problem-finding strategy.  Unknown

No problem can stand the assault of sustained thinking.  Voltaire

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in seeing with new eyes.  Marcel Proust

Do not underestimate the importance of helping people recognize what they already knowMichael Quinn Patten

LEARNING does not take place in isolation. Students bring to the learning setting what they have experienced and the values they have been taught at home and in their neighborhoods. This affects how they respond.  National Center for Education Statistics

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. Albert Einstein

Knowledge is POWER and knowledge shared is power multiplied. Bob Noyce

FACTS do not cease to exist because they are ignored.   Aldous Huxley

What gets MEASURED, gets done. Tom Peters

PERFORMANCE DATA reveals WHO isn’t learning & WHAT isn’t being learned but not WHY students are struggling or HOW to address their needs. From pnichols10 via TweetDeck

If you don’t have DATA, you’re just another person with an opinion. @john__ (Twitter)

The idea is to transform data into information, and information into insight. Carly Fiorina

In GOD we TRUST. All other bring DATA. Margaret Spellings